If Americans are so smart, why have they not elected me president?

Seriously, you'd think anyone with an ounce of common sense would realize there's no better option than me to run the country. Honestly, it's as obvious as knowing that sticking your head in an oven is a bad idea. Yet, somehow my fellow Americans are so stupid, they have not elected me president even ONCE. But it's no surprise that a country filled with people who think Obama is Muslim, believe in Creationism, come up with the term "freedom fries", and watch The Jerry Springer Show would not possess the intelligence to vote for me.