How to apologise for love?

I have a habit of forming infatuation sometimes. I liked this guy and didn't want to ruin it so acted cool but he kissed me one day, then told me nothing could happen because of selfish time. After that I noticed him flirting with other girls and began to lose it. I really cared about him but in times became infatuated. Especially when he would get drunk and kiss me or come home with me. I ended up writing him a sincere love letter but we were drunk and had . The next day we spoke he said I wanted too much too fast and felt I was obsessed. I broke down and got upset I felt heartbroken. He said he was scared and wanted space. I didn't give it to him. We argued but he apologised...I did but it was a selfish apology. I realise now I got confused and it got to me in a bad day and I became infatuated. I am now not, I now just care for him and hate myself for scaring him. I am giving him space, it's been 2 weeks nc. I want to show him not be scared and fix things. How? I feel awful.